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When life’s hard, time’s a motherfucker going slow
When life’s hard, time’s a motherfucker going slow

Soham Gupta

Angst

Through the grayness of this concrete city, streams of tin-box vehicles flow ahead languidly – and like at a river’s delta, distributaries of little hatchbacks and dented yellow taxis branch off from the main road, spreading in varied directions. From your roof, you can see the whole city, you can feel it’s pulse – yet, there is such a strange silence around you, it’s as if the noise below is far, far away, so far that you are actually longing...
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Stephen Barber

An immodest proposal

J.G. Ballard’s self-declared ‘Immodest Proposal’ for a global war-­alliance to exact the destruction of America demonstrates the provocatory zeal of his last fiction plans, as well as their enduring prescience. As Ballard emphasises several times in the World Versus America notebooks, he is utterly serious in his concerns and visions.
Although the Ballard ­estate declined permission for any images of pages from the World Versus America archival notebooks to accompany this essay, any member of the general public interested to do so can readily visit the British Library and view the notebooks in their entirety in the freely-­accessible manuscripts collection there.

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All that pent up terror and rage
All that pent up terror and rage

Dodie Bellamy

Plague Widow

Driving to the Castro, Bee Reaved feels hyper emotional, as she often does in the car, Nick Cave’s Ghosteen on repeat, and she thinks—this is what it’s like to live without hope. Six months after Kevin’s death, friends left her to fare for herself. Other widows warned her this would happen, that everybody would disappear before she was ready. One widow she no longer talks to said, “Wait and see, you’re going to have a total breakdown.” Now, with the...
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Jochen Thermann

Ich hätte ihn nicht einstellen dürfen

Ich hätte ihn nicht einstellen dürfen. Dabei schien er geeignet, meinen regulären Koch zu vertreten. Schneider hatte sich krankgemeldet, und da es eine langwierige Geschichte zu werden drohte, hatte ich den stämmigen kleinen Mann, der nur gebrochen deutsch sprach, ohne viel Aufhebens eingestellt. Das Geschäft musste schließlich weitergehen, die Gäste waren hungrig.

Oft werden einem ja die komplizierten Beziehungen, die man unterhält und die von einem schwer entzifferbaren Codex begleitet werden, gar nicht klar. Erst wenn die Dinge aus dem Ruder laufen, erkennt man, wie gut zuvor die selbstregulativen Mechanismen griffen: wie Schneider seine Einkäufe organisierte, wie er seine Gehilfen anwies, seine Zutaten komponierte und wie treu er selbst daran interessiert war, das Geschäft voranzutreiben.

Der Aushilfskoch arbeitete vordergründig genauso. Er kaufte selbst ein. Er kochte ganz ausgezeichnet, und man lobte mich sehr für die überraschenden Geschmäcker, die der Hilfskoch Waldemar auf der Zunge meiner Gäste zum Vorschein brachte. Waldemar hatte eine...

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Maria Filomena Molder

So many egoists call themselves artists…

“So many egoists call themselves artists,” Rimbaud wrote to Paul Demeny on May 15, 1871. Even though that is not always obvious, ‘I’, the first person, is the most unknown person, a mystery that is constantly moving towards the other two, the second and third persons, a series of unfoldings and smatterings that eventually gelled as ‘Je est un autre’. That is why ‘apocryphal’ is a literarily irrelevant concept and ‘pseudo’ a symptom, the very proof that life, writing, is made up of echoes, which means that intrusions and thefts (Borges also discusses them) will always be the daily bread of those who write.

Words from others, words taken out of place and mutilated: here are the alms of time, that squanderer’s sole kindness. And so many others, mostly others who wrote, and many other pages, all of them apocryphal, all of them echoes, reflections. All this flows together into—two centuries...

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